Thankful

I want to thank the husband for doing the dishes for the entire amount of his Christmas vacation. I want to thank him for doing this for me because I've been doing the dishes for months now because he is always so busy and I'm usually in my pajamas and watching Food Network and painting on things on all day so it's only fair, right, that I do the dishes every day if the most major dilemma I ever encounter is whether I should take a shower when I wake up or wait and go to the gym first and then take a shower.

I also want to thank the husband for all the wonderful Christmas gifts he gave me, like Elf because I think Will Ferrell is the funniest thing ever invented and I almost pass out from hyperventilating when I watch his movies because they make me laugh so hard, and also a gorgeous new coat that is beige and beautiful and makes me feel a movie star when I wear it, and also a wedding, and also the evening following the wedding when we ate a one hundred dollar bill each and then drank fifty more and then slept in a two hundred dollar bed at the Hilton.

And now I want to thank myself for not passing out at any point in the past three days as we have been negotiating the financing of the newest addition to our family which we will henceforth call, the Worth Passing Out for Expensive Like You Wouldn't Believe Fancy Pants Shiny Silver Lieutenantmobile That is Really Dominic's and That Kate Doesn't Even Know How to Drive but Will Have to Learn and Oh My God Can You Believe Dominic is Even Actually Willing to Teach Kate How to Drive This Car that Has Been His Dream for So Long, Well Neither Can I.

We'll be bringing the car home tomorrow, perhaps wrapped in swaddling clothes and with an army of angels following and a star rising in the east night sky of San Antonio to guide us like a beacon all the way home.

The cat will be so jealous.