Guilty Conscience

Dear United States Postal Service Worker:

I am so very sorry that today, when I pulled up beside the drop-off mailbox outside the Post Office in my SUV, I shoved a letter through the slot when you had so clearly just taken the mail bin out of the box, thereby forcing you by my inattentiveness to go routing inside the empty box for my letter. I just want to let you know that when you held out your hand expecting me to hand you the letter I had just carelessly thrown into the abyss of the empty box that I was absolutely mortified, and I expected you to ask me to park my obnoxious vehicle and get my gym clothes clad carcass out into the cold and bend over and crawl into the empty mail box and get that letter myself. And I would have done it because that's how guilty I felt for being young and inconsiderate and able to go the gym at 11:30 in the morning because I don't have a family to support or anything so I don't have to get a real job like you, Mr. Postal Service Worker. No doubt you work everyday--good, hard work to get all those letters out to people all over America--and here I am, a punk kid in a SUV with not very many responsibilities and enough free time to go to the gym whenever I want, a complete waste of adult air who inadvertently forced you to crawl into a metal mail box to retrieve my letter, which wasn't even very important to begin with.

Thank you for being so nice about it. I'm really very sorry.

Sincerely, Katharine