A Few Things

What sound does a cat make?

First of all, thanks to all our "lap cat" practices, wherein I forced the Monkey Butt to sit still on my lap for graduated amounts of time, Mia has finally taken the initiative to crawl into my lap herself. Of course, she was after my sandwich, but once I swatted her away, she just collapsed defeated into my lap, where she stayed for almost a half an hour, purring and meowing at me pointedly, like she wanted to make sure I noticed she was sitting in my lap ON HER OWN ACCORD, THANK YOU.

Human: one. Monkey Butt: zero.

Like what a spelunker wears, except no hard hat

Also, right now I just want to give a shout out to my husband, who after much badgering finally relented and bought me one of those flashlights attached to an elastic band, which is for wearing around my head. I've always thought these particular devices were really cool and have wanted one for as long as I can remember. My argument for the head lamp always went something like this:

Hey, I could totally use it to read in bed while you're asleep.

And then when I finally used it for the first time last night, I kept Dominic up LIKE ALL NIGHT because the headlamp is actually very bright. And then when he said, at midnight,

Can't you just go to sleep?

I actually got insulted and left the room in a huff. When I came back to bed an hour later, my angelic husband rolled over and put his arms around me and said he was sorry.

I was shamed, people, shamed. But, alas, no more headlamp in bed. UNLESS I USE THE SPECIAL NIGHT VISION RED LIGHT ATTACHMENT. Yesss.

Because all black people love collard greens

And finally, when we were in Wal-Mart a few days ago, I noticed some thoughtful person had set up a special Black History table, with books about Martin Luther King Jr. and Rosa Parks and DVD's and CD's of important black artists and--wait for it--

Glory canned collard greens.

I'm not one for political correctness. I think the world is too filled with it as it is, but canned collard greens? I mean, at least give the people fresh greens.

Disclaimer: actually, by the way Dominic, my half-black husband, and I, sometimes a little black by association, actually love Glory canned collard greens. They're delicious.