What The River Taketh, It Does Not Necessarily Give Back...

I have gone to the river, and I have learned this lesson so that I can return to you all and say this. Lo, and there was water and a cooler full of ice cold delicious beer. And the river did churneth in a mighty way, causing all who cherished the beer to be flipped into the river along with their cooler of ice cold golden lagers. Then returning to the surface the river floating people wailed and smacked their hands on the surface of the water crying 'Why, O river hast thou caused me to spill my beer and left me bereft of any others?' The river answereth not, and another cried 'The cruel river has also taken my tube, sunglasses, one shoe and washed my wife away down the river! What did I do to deserve this?' Then like only the river can provide, the man's sandal floated by him, and an empty tube he did not recognize as his own, and beer much like those he had lost. Collecting them he left, cracked a cold beer and left the other tuber for dead wondering not who's tube he had taken. He had after all lost his sunglasses. Again.