Thursday, December 30, 2004


I want to thank the husband for doing the dishes for the entire amount of his Christmas vacation. I want to thank him for doing this for me because I've been doing the dishes for months now because he is always so busy and I'm usually in my pajamas and watching Food Network and painting on things on all day so it's only fair, right, that I do the dishes every day if the most major dilemma I ever encounter is whether I should take a shower when I wake up or wait and go to the gym first and then take a shower.

I also want to thank the husband for all the wonderful Christmas gifts he gave me, like Elf because I think Will Ferrell is the funniest thing ever invented and I almost pass out from hyperventilating when I watch his movies because they make me laugh so hard, and also a gorgeous new coat that is beige and beautiful and makes me feel a movie star when I wear it, and also a wedding, and also the evening following the wedding when we ate a one hundred dollar bill each and then drank fifty more and then slept in a two hundred dollar bed at the Hilton.

And now I want to thank myself for not passing out at any point in the past three days as we have been negotiating the financing of the newest addition to our family which we will henceforth call, the Worth Passing Out for Expensive Like You Wouldn't Believe Fancy Pants Shiny Silver Lieutenantmobile That is Really Dominic's and That Kate Doesn't Even Know How to Drive but Will Have to Learn and Oh My God Can You Believe Dominic is Even Actually Willing to Teach Kate How to Drive This Car that Has Been His Dream for So Long, Well Neither Can I.

We'll be bringing the car home tomorrow, perhaps wrapped in swaddling clothes and with an army of angels following and a star rising in the east night sky of San Antonio to guide us like a beacon all the way home.

The cat will be so jealous.

Fancy Car Bio...

Our Car Would Look Like This.

The fancy new car is a Nissan 350Z. It replaced the 300Z series a few years ago. I started thinking I wanted a two-seater about three years ago when I first saw the new Ford Thunderbird. The Thunderbird is much more expensive than this car though, so unfortunately for me it's not really an option. However, I started looking at this car a couple of years ago and it has really grown on me over that period. May Dad had one many years ago when they were still the 300ZX and I remember thinking it would be awesome to have the car. This maybe my only opportunity for many years to spoil myself and Kate!

On the down side, I think the car is expensive. I'm certain some would say that 30,000 is just what cars cost now, and that may be true but this car only has two seats, is very little, and has no side curtain airbags(I saw a documentary about the airbags and they scared me good). Also a downer, Kate doesn't know how to drive a stick yet but I'm certain she'll learn quickly. When she feels confident, then I 'll go back to driving the Blazer back and forth to work. Meanwhile, I'm sure Kate will be darting around town impressing all the boys. She said she would have to get a fancy new purse!

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Should I Buy This Car Or One Like It?

I'm trying do get this fancy car, or one like it in silver to serve as my obnoxious Lieutenantmobile. What do you all think about it?

Doesn't it look fast?

Vroom, Vroom!

The Kids Got Married, Part II

So this is how married life begins...

(pretending to) getting loaded.

After we left Las Leyendas, we visited the bar downstairs from our hotel, Durty Nelly's...

where the vodka tonics were plentiful and tasty and we didn't just pretend to drink them.

This is my husband. All the other wives are jealous.

It was wicked cold that night. We got snow flurries, in Texas.

Here begins a series of moments that reveal me as becoming rather unraveled.

Perhaps because of the plentiful and tasty vodka tonics?

Aw, how sweet. I understand if you're all throwing up in your mouths a little just now.

We kept taking pictures of ourselves in the bar, which inspired a small army of drunken and Christmas Spirit-filled strangers to reach for our camera and take pictures of us. Thank you, drunken, Christmas Spirit-filled strangers.

This is a relatively accurate depiction of what Dominic has married--a white piece of cornbread from the South with a strange angelic glow resulting from all that whiteness.

This is a relatively accurate picture of how the Riverwalk looked to us as we ascended to our room for the night. Bright and fuzzy.

And this is how we looked the next morning--happily ever after.

Monday, December 27, 2004

Perplexing Stoners Everywhere...

While we were in Whole Foods yesterday buying Guiness and miniature apple pies Katharine and I overheard a couple of the employees talking about the color purple and systems. A young woman with an earring in her lip was saying, "'s all systems man, what if the color I see as purple is really orange? You just don't know...It's all systems man!" Now, I know that I have no proof that she uses marijuana, but she does work at Whole Foods and has an piercing in her lip. All available clues point to habitual marijuana usage. Anyways, what was so funny about the entire thing was that Kate got absolutely livid and started talking about how she heard other stoners in Alabama talking about the same thing and that right now, stoners everywhere are ranting and confusing each other all over America. I don't know why I thought it was so funny...Maybe because it had Kate so worked up. If you were there though and had seen how serious everybody was...It's all systems man, think about it. Think about it.

Oh yeah, I just thought I would add how glorious it is to be carefree, absolutely lazy, and with cocktail in hand...

Before I anger a large portion of the population under the age of twenty-five just know, I'm not judging. Everyone should have the opportunity to find themselves. Down with the man! Actually, I kind of work for him so not so much down with him, but I'll let him know you're angry. Thanks.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

The Kids Got Married, Part I

The Lieutenant and Mrs.

Dominic and I were married on December 24th, 2004. "Oh, how romantic," people said. "You're getting married on Christmas Eve."

I spent most of the morning in various stages of getting ready. Dominic took a ten minute shower. Then he shaved. Then he put on his mess dress.

The whole process took him about a half an hour. But, my, he looked dashing.

My wedding shoes were glamorous, fabulous, and led me, ultimately, to a grisly fate.

The cat was spooked that morning. What was that apparition in all the bustling white?

I don't normally wear lipstick. But getting married called for drastic cosmetic measures. Like putting on make-up, for instance. And drying and curling my hair.

It took Dominic a moment to zip my dress up. The white satin beast had challenged, fought, and tamed my tummy. It was a frightful battle.

The Christmas tree and the bride. Tradition got the better of both of us--a tree felled, lugged indoors and decorated, and a very pale girl in a white dress in December. But we looked fabulous anyway.

On the way to the gardens...

Dominic and I realized...

That we'd forgotten my bouquet. We turned around to fetch it.

At this point, I was a married woman. And frozen and dead nearly. Or at least I sort of felt like it.

At this point, we were both totally married.


My wedding shoes, as sophisticated and fabulous as they looked, were no match for the Stairs of Death. Neither was I when I fell down them (to the grisly fate I mentioned earlier) in front of the only crowd of people I saw all day at the gardens. I landed on my butt, in a settling cloud of white wedding dress.

You may all laugh now. I certainly did. And so did Dominic. Shortly after helping me up, he rushed to the foot of the stair to capture the moment of my embarrassment in infamy.

So begins married life.

Sweet, Marital Bliss...

Well, the big day has come and gone but Kate and I are still super excited. About every on the hour we turn to each and other and shout "We're totally married dude!" We call each other dude a lot. Anyways, the day was fantastic and except for the cold, which Kate totally braved and conquered, everything went great. By the way, it was like 68 degrees today versus 28 degrees on Friday. The photographers were super nice and willing to work with us as we tromped all over the botanical garden. It was really a lot of fun. What I thought was especially great was how relaxing everything was. We were able to just roll with the flow of everything, stay calm and worry-free, and let everything work itself out. Everything just went the way it should have gone. Kate and I were able to just be happy and enjoy what a great, moderately spontaneous day it was.

We ate dinner at a beautiful roof-top restaurant named Las Leyendas. We had meals with four courses and each course was fantastic. The chef came out and introduced himself. That's the type of restaurant we were at. It was an awesome experience. I had roast duck and Kate had filet mignon. We shared a bottle of wine before the waiter showed us a new addition to the restaurant that would be opening soon. It was even nicer than the old section and I'm certain Kate and I will visit that restaurant as often as we can.

I'll leave most of the serious writing to Kate as she is much better at it than I. (I've recently been be honest though,I already knew) Anyways, I just thought that I'd say once again my life rocks!

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Ding Dong Merrily the Bells

Today, Dominic and I got a beautiful wedding flower arrangement from relatives in North Carolina.

There were roses in it.

And lilies.

Also, one aunt sent me these gorgeous old Spode dessert plates. And the cordial glasses. Thank you so much, relatives, for everything. For the presents and cards and good wishes, thank you. Dominic and I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Today we've been very busy cleaning the house and picking up my flowers and washing Dominic's truck and going to the mall and going to the grocery store for Christmas dinner ingredients. It's been a very nice day, albeit cold like the girl who ignored you in kindegarten and then made all her friends ignore you too and then made fun of you when you played by yourself because nobody else would.

I've been mad at Texas all day because we've had the mildest most wonderful weather for just weeks and weeks, and, now, the day before my outside wedding, it's been 40 degrees all day, and tomorrow the temperature is not supposed wrear its wretched head beyond 30. Really, it is December and I should just shut my mouth and deal with the cold tomorrow because it's not like I didn't realize it might be cold when we decided to get married on Christmas Eve. But beyond cold weather woes, hopefully the sun will be out bright and shining tomorrow, and I'm sure I'll be running on adrenaline enough to get myself through it anyway.

Dominic and I are really excited. Like kids before Christmas excited. Which, actually, is sort of what we are, come to think about it. See you on the other side of matrimony, people.

P.S. Today, at the mall, I exited a certain store's dressing rooms with only one button done on my button-all-the-way-up shirt. The embarrassment of this incident should be obvious, and what should be even more obvious is that I am an air-headed moron, and today I realized for the millionth time, that, unfortunately, I will always be an air-headed moron.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

I Love LA...

Sorry to usethe cheesy ditty in the title but that's what popped into my head. I initially typed "pooped" instead of "popped." That's funny, true, and a little sad. Anyways, LA...I don'y mean CA, but Louisiana. I flew what we call the Cajun route at school today and I was able to see all the bayous, levees, and swamps of LA. It was an absolutley gorgeous day. No clouds and I could see for miles and miles. It was a great day to fly. Except for the fact that my instructor wasn't cool everything went well. A very long day though...

In even cooler news, Kate and I are very close to the big day! I tell you I just don't know how my life can get much better. I have everything I need and want here in my little house in SA, and so much more. I am very lucky in life without a doubt! Thanks to everyone who sent cards and presents, Kate and I are so lucky to have so many great friends. AND...It's Christmastime!!!I hate to sound like a motivational speaker but these things are just the truth...

I haven't had much time to update things but we love to hear from everyone with comments and email. Write anytime! Merry Christmas!

The Stalking Stalker Lurks Near By

There is a policy to which our cat prefers to adhere:

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Oh, Christmas Tree

This past Wednesday, Dominic and I finally picked out our Christmas tree from the tree lot just five miles from our apartment complex. Friday, we finally actually decorated it.

Okay, Internet, listen up. In case you were wondering about Dominic's ability to provide for me, to take care of me or what not if I'm always following him around America and THE WORLD, well, let me tell you that he totally scored a FREE tree for us this year, and if that doesn't make the angels sing on high I don't know what else will.

A free Christmas tree is especially relevant this year because Dominic hasn't had a chance to complete an entire sentence these past three weeks, let alone go with poor weak noodle armed me to the Christmas tree lot to bring home a tree. We can both be cheap about odd things, like paying forty or fifty dollars for a tree we'll only have up a couple of weeks at most, so, like I said, Dominic rules for scoring us a free tree.

Because we'd been tree-less, and other such contributing factors, our apartment has been a bit devoid of Christmas spirit until just as of late. This has been contributed by me, mostly, because of my hatred for the song, "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause," and because of the fact that my eleventh grade English teacher made our class read Ethan Frome and I WILL NEVER GET OVER HOW AWFUL THAT BOOK IS and because of my periodical tirades about the decorative tackiness of our neighbors. People it's just a BALCONY. There is NO NEED to string up four sets of colored lights AND put a giant blow up snowman AND a giant blow up santa AND a plastic light-up navity scene in the middle of it all WITH FAKE SNOW. Again, that's just excessive.

But I suppose I'm being a scrooge or a grinch or just grouchy because I'm updating this at 6:50 on a Saturday morning, and you can all just ignore me for now. Dominic's class got in trouble for something yesterday, and as punishment they all had to go to work today at 6:30, and he woke me up when he got up, and of course I couldn't go back to sleep. I feel like a great injustice has been done to the man who can command free Christmas trees just by walking onto Christmas tree lots with his flight suit on and make small babies stop crying just by smiling at them and walk on water, but I've learned to just let sleeping dogs lie (or sleeping cats or whatever your animal preference) because once before when I felt he was being short changed by his superiors I threatened to go talk to somebody, but the look on Dominic's face said, please god no, so I didn't of course. And I wouldn't have anyway because sometimes I make idle threats, and I have no intentions of following through on them.

So, feel free to compare us now: the man who people will look at once and then realize he is one of the nicest and bravest and loveliest human beings on the earth and they will give him free Christmas trees, and this woman who will make illogical idle threats and has just written the most nonsensical drival you will ever read outside of Ethan Frome.


Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Kitty Escape, Heavy Walking, and Other Fine Things

Yesterday morning, when the alarm went off just after 5:00, Dominic heard the pathetic muffled crying of our kitty coming from somewhere outside of our apartment. He noticed the front door was cracked open just slightly, and when he went outside to investigate he found Mia trapped on the landing just down the first flight of stairs that leads up to our apartment. He picked her cold little carcass up to bring her inside, and she cried all the way back to the apartment. I can't imagine how many neighbors she annoyed in the process. Let's just say we may get another knock on our door from the downstairs neighbor who complained to me just last week about the noises coming from our apartment, and how her little grand nephews could never sleep because of it.

"It's like you guys are running around or doing jumping jacks or something," she said.

I happen to be an extremely heavy walker. This is a paradox as I weigh no more than 125 pounds, and yet, when I walk, I appear to have all the grace of a full grown elephant mama rushing an emaciated tiger threatening her baby in a lush jungle somewhere in Africa. No, really. Ask Dominic.


This baffles me, and I try to remember to walk more quietly, but that is a difficult task because, as it so turns out, I am also a pacer. I pace a lot. Like the emaciated tiger as he is contemplating the threatening of the baby elephant in the lush jungle somewhere in Africa.

I pace A LOT.

And then sometimes, like last night, before I even knew what I was doing, I was pacing and stomping and pacing and stomping, and the whole apartment may or may not have been shaking and Dominic was telling me to QUIT THE HEAVY WALKING MY GOD YOU'RE GOING TO WAKE THE CHILDREN, and I said, "What children?" Because if we have children it's news to me.

And he just rolled his eyes and said, "The children downstairs." Which, admittedly, made more sense.

I guess the point of this story (if there is one; that's debatable, really) is not only does Dominic have to worry about his extremely challenging job and my heavy walking and my maniacal pacing, but he has to worry about me forgeting to the lock the door at night lest our cat escape and then cry on the third floor landing for a couple of hours probably at least and wake up the children downstairs who are not OUR children, you see, but nevertheless deserve to sleep in the morning or at night without being disturbed by my heavy walking or the pathetic cries of our lost cat.

I need to learn to be a quiet walker. I also need to learn how to not freak out about things (like picking out flowers for my bouquet) so badly that I wait until the last minute to go do it and then am chastised by the lady in the shop because how can she help me get what I really want when she's so busy this time of year with all these orders that people made months ago when they were supposed to?

Well, okay, we worked something out. Why am I so wigged out about flowers when I'm getting married in a BOTANICAL GARDEN, anyway? I guess it's just like with all the pacing and the heavy walking and the forgetting to lock the door at night--if I understood it at all maybe life would be just a little less interesting (frustrating).

Monday, December 13, 2004

Finally, A Chance To Breathe...

After being absolutely swamped at work for the past couple of weeks I have a night that isn't being ruled by homework and mission prep! I do have to study still but I got out of work early today. Three-thirty. Anyways, I went on my first flight as part of an aircrew and it was really cool. I got to wear a five point harness and stuff. It's really cool because everything is so fast. I was "behind the jet" most of the four hour trip but overall I think it went pretty well. I was up in the cockpit for a while and we turned the A/C on and when we flew through the clouds ice crystals formed in the vents so it was like their was freezing rain in the cockpit. It was cool! We did quite a few touch-and-go's and that was really exciting. Seeing the ground come at you so fast, and from an angle most people don't get to see. School is still very hard and I have to keep working at it!

Kate and I of course are up to some fantastic things and we are so excited about this Christmas! I'm so happy to have her here with me and we are just looking forward to all the things to come. It's a very exciting time for us, what else can I say. She's fantastic. i feel like I'm getting away with something.

Well, I have to study and of course watch some football. Go Chiefs! They suck, I know. Whatcha gonna do though? It happens.

If You Hadn't Already Guessed, It's Official


The bright lights

Sunday, December 12, 2004

A San Antonio Christmas Party and Other Big News

Saturday, Dominic escorted me to my very first fancy pants Christmas party. Dominic's whole squadron was gettin' down at the Hilton. Woo-hoo.

They served dessert ON FIRE, and I tried to take a picture of it, but I couldn't get my camera out of my purse in time. So I took a picture of Dominic instead.

After the dinner and once the DJ had begun to play "Sweet Home Alabama" (didn't I LEAVE Alabama to escape having to hear that song at every single event, ever?) it was time to go to a bar.

And look how beautiful downtown San Antonio is right now. Almost as beautiful as being able to get gussied up to go to a fancy pants Christmas Party in downtown San Antonio with my sweetie. Almost as beautiful as vodka tonics.

Almost as beautiful as getting married soon. Merry Christmas.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Bad Car-ma

Yesterday, a lady hit my car as I was approaching the onramp for 410 east. She was very much on the right side of the access road when she cut across a concrete island in order not to miss the onramp for the freeway, thereby crashing into the right front part of my Oldsmobile.

I'm okay. My car is still drivable--just messed up a little.

The lady was elderly; she acted confused. She left before I could get more than her phone number and her license plate number. Luckily, the accident happened in front of a crew of construction workers (I TOLD you Texas is constantly under construction! And now I owe you thanks, Texas, for your kind construction workers) and they called the police for me and then stood around and looked at me funny because, folks, I was wigging out.

I had given the lady who hit my car my home and cell phone numbers, and she called me several times yesterday, confused and scared. At one point she thought I was my insurance agent, and she began yelling at me, "I didn't hit her, ma'am; SHE HIT ME!" which was sad because the lady was obviously mixed up and paranoid, and I'm worried she won't comply with the police who are going to call her into the station to make a statement. If she doesn't do that she'll be charged with a hit and run, and that will be big trouble for her, unfortunately.

Also unfortunately, elderly people do not always retain the ability to drive safely. I know am not the first victim of an accident of this nature. And, believe me, I understand that to drive is to have freedom, and if we take away elderly people's licenses once they begin to demonstrate that they are no longer able to drive safely, then that is one more privilege that we have taken from people who often just don't have many privileges left. But something needs to be done about this problem. The lady who hit my car should have never been driving; behind the wheel, she is a danger to other people, especially in this big city of twisting and confusing freeways.

I can't help but think that this accident is just bad karma from the two accidents I've had before: the first one spawned from inexperience and naivete, the second one--well, I still don't know exactly what happened there, but it was my fault. Both times, it was my fault. So I spent most of yesterday crying on and off, not so much because my car is all busted up (because it could have been so much worse, so much worse) but because I've inflicted accidents on other people before, and it's just not fair, the amount of power each one of us is given, to hurt each other, to take away, to alter, ruthlessly, the courses of the lives all around us.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

The Texas Sized Love the Texans Have for Texas

Periodically, I get very angry at Texas. This is a state where people drive really big trucks really slowly without their lights on in the rain on the freeway. This is a state so big that to get out of it you have to fly on a plane because it isn't worth it to try to drive so far. This is a state--at least this eastern part--without mountains or foothills or large forests or anything much in the way of visual interest. This is a state that is CONSTANTLY UNDER CONSTRUCTION.

But mostly what I'm having such a difficult time understanding is why are people so proud to be from here? What's so gut-wrenchingly endearing about cowboy hats and boots and huge trucks and bland asphalt landscapes and Tejano music? Because a lot of people who are born here, who grow up here, are fiercely, fiercely proud to be from Texas. I saw that a lot in Alabama too, of course, which is even sadder somehow because we knew our state was a big bloody sinking ship, and the majority of us tucked ourselves in tightly for the night to ride it all the way down because, my god, we loved being backwards and stagnant. Alabamians are stupid, I guess, just like they all say.

But I guess I understood the Alabamians to a certain degree, even when they were missing teeth and wanted to marry their four wheelers and wore rebel flag t-shirts ON PURPOSE--because, did you know? Redneck is fashionable--and would, intermittently in conversation, spit tobacco juice in long dirty streams and then push back their camouflage baseball caps to an even jauntier position on their heads, because somehow I AM one--an Alabamian--even if I don't do any of the above things. I guess it's called nationalism or, well, regionalism. I guess we make up our identities like oozing little amoebas, everything coming into us--all the sensations and attitudes around us--like an osmosis we can't stop. And it makes a difference, even if we wear a lot of black eyeliner and listen to the Cure because they're, like, so retro and cool, and make fun of the boys who go mudriding for fun on Friday nights. Even if we're gasping for air like a fish flipped onto a hot dock because we can't understand the places that made us, it makes a difference.

So I don't really understand the Texans, and quite literally because here in San Antonio a lot of them don't even speak English as a first language, but also because I don't get cowbow chic and I don't see the point of being proud for being from a state so big that if you live in the middle of it god help you because the only way you're ever getting out is by leaving on a jet plane. But I guess it doesn't even really matter. I spend my waking life feeling like a foreigner in my own skin anyway. Everywhere I go there are people with different lives than mine, who live differently from me and think differently from me and believe in things differently than I do. The disparity just boggles my mind sometimes. Thank god there are books and movies and music that help us seam together the different parts. Thank god there are basic human experiences like love and betrayel and kindness and sadness. Thank god I didn't want to stay in Alabama forever. Thank god I don't wear too much black eyeliner.

And thank god I'm not from Texas.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

My Poor Little Brain...

Internet, my poor little brain has reached it's capacity. I literally spend a good two hours a day shaking my head, saying "I'm sorry, I don't understand." It's only a matter of time before my instructors break out crayons and stick figures to try and explain some things to me. It's not that everything is so tough, but we run through everything so fast. Then we do timed evaluations and calculations and when they say "Go!" My brian stalls, I look confused, and then I begin shaking my head again...So sad. I am making it though. I got a 97 on my last test, and I just made a stupid mistake. I fly the T-43 for the first time on Wednesday and I'm very excited about that. Lot of preparation though...unfortunately, I have to start now. Really I just wanted to say how jealous I am of the aeronautical engineers in my class that are like "clearly this is a logarithimic function of air molecules as they pass across the wing..." and all the while I'm just shaking my head trying to remember what 9 times seven is. Seriously. We're not allowed to use calculators! Crazy math.